Tuesday, August 9, 2011

When too much is too much

One of the reasons I've continued to subscribe to WoW is I've always managed to keep it balanced.

Sticking to one main character - my hunter - helps with that, because if I don't invest time in playing other characters I don't end up playing as much overall.

The past couple of weeks, two different friends have been playing WoW; one a fairly new player who I felt obliged to help out (because I'd been trying to get him to play for years), and one a raiding veteran in a small horde guild that needed another member for raids.

Feeling pressured to play not one, but two alts as well as my hunter was getting to me. It seems stupid that a game would stress you out, but it does happen.... and I think the stress filtered through into real life, where I made decisions (totally unrelated to WoW, incidentally) that I might not have made otherwise.

I don't think I'd change anything - although the newbie will almost certainly never play again and I haven't decided whether to try and raid on my druid or not - but it's a lesson I will keep in mind for next time.


Anonymous said...

I now need to know what the non-WoW decision you made was that you would not have made were it not for WoW stress.

I consulted the laws of the internet, and they make it pretty clear that if you mention something like that in passing, you have to back it up when asked!

Phyllixia said...

I made a decision to tell someone a secret I'd been keeping... which subsequently made someone else furious at me. Is that enough non-detail for you? ;)

Anonymous said...

So the end result is:
the newbie will never play again (who you've been to trying to get play in the first place) which means you'll have more time to spend with the veteran.

I think you've made your decision who you really want to play with.

Phyllixia said...

Actually, I'd still rather play with the newbie - it's why I spent so long trying to get him to play. I'll always keep the priest that I levelled to help him out just in case he wants to come back... even though it doesn't seem likely ^^

Anonymous said...

Your actions speak for themselves. Your decision has caused the newbie to stop playing which opened the door for you to play with the vet. (which was probably your intention)

Phyllixia said...

My decisions, as I said, were unrelated to WoW; do you really think that I would drive someone away from a computer game just because I wanted to play with someone else? You may think you have some convoluted idea of what my intentions are/were, but you're blind.

Anonymous said...

Your article said the stresses of playing with 2 players filtered through to real life which ultimately lead to your unrelated wow decision.

The decision you made resulted in flicking the newb so your gaming experience can be less stressful and now you can concentrate on playing with the vet. Nice.

I don't blame the newb if he/she never plays (with you) ever again.

I personally would never let a game influence my decisions in real life.

Phyllixia said...

Don't tell me you've never been stressed from work or personal life and have that affect other aspects of your life, because you'd be lying. A period of time when you've closed yourself off and don't talk to people because you're depressed, perhaps?

I also said I don't regret my real life decision, even though it was hasty. Maybe I could have made things less rough for people, but ultimately the secret I told needed to be heard by the person I told it to and I'm glad it's out.

And for what it's worth, I said I was pressured by the veteran player to play. I haven't actually played with him; maybe 1-2 dungeons since this blog post - more than a month ago.

I don't really know why I'm trying to explain myself though, because clearly you only see what you want to see. Open your eyes and pay attention; you sound like a petulant child.

Anonymous said...

The essence of your article was that a GAME lead you to do things that helped influence your decisions.

Regardless of the secret being told or not...I observe that a mere game has the power to make you sad, happy, depressed, stressed and ultimately change your direction in real life.

Pretty sad really!

Phyllixia said...

A GAME doesn't influence me, the PEOPLE do.

This is a WoW blog, not a personal one. I said here that playing this game too much was a factor, but it was only a tiny trigger. I would have blown regardless.

The REAL reason I did what I did was because things in my life were coming to a head - one night in particular I did something I shouldn't have and it haunted me like nothing else.

I was backed into a corner and lashed out; wrong timing, perhaps, but at least I've freed myself from the situation.

Finally: you think I'm sad? All of this happened 2 months ago. Perhaps if you spent less time attacking me and more time fixing the problems in your own sorry life, you wouldn't be so bitter.

Anonymous said...

Freed?...well you definitely have that now.

Freed from ever seeing, talking and playing with the newb ever again.

Thanks again to the GAME which helped (trigger) to free you.

Anonymous said...

BTW this is a WOW blog. I don't wish to delve into your personal life and I don't care. I'm simply pointing out how your article highlights that a mere game can influence lifes decisions and add stress causing hasty and sometimes rash decisions leading to the said consequences in your article.

Obviously you don't think that WOW has affected your life, but I think that it does and always has. I pin the blame on WOW and would go as far to say that its been responsible for your current position ever since day 1.

But it seems like your happy again finding new things to do in WOW so I think we can close this discussion on the note that WOW in large doses can't be good for you.

Phyllixia said...

Of course WoW affects my life. Everything you do does.

However, pinning the blame on WoW for any and all decisions I make without knowing my "personal life" is the same as accusing someone of murder without asking them why they're standing next to the victim in the first place.

My "current position" is actually great, thanks very much. Having the burden of guilt of keeping that secret lifted is the best thing I've ever felt. I wasn't acting at all like myself and used WoW as an escape, forcing myself to play way too much when what I should have been doing was facing up to what I knew needed to be done.

Meanwhile, I'm sick of this charade. Here's something for you to think over, Anonymous: if the "Furious" friend is still having personal problems due to my interference, it's his own fault. He lied to the two people closest to him and then blamed me when I finally outed him.

What I've seen of him since has only reassured me that I did the right thing; he can blame me all he likes for his situation, but he put himself there and it doesn't look like he's doing enough to repair either of his close relationships, because he still brings the topic up even now.

I could tell the whole story to everyone I know and not be afraid of any consequences, but I had previously been respecting HIS privacy on the matter. My patience has grown thin of late, so these comments (which I could choose to delete, since it's my blog) are staying in the public eye for now.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your new life. With the newb out of the picture you can concentrate on finishing the game instead of using it as an escape. You got what you wanted while at the same time leaving a trail of destruction behind you. I hope your happy with the result cause you seem very proud of how it all ended up.

Whats even more baffling is that your almost thanking WOW for it because if it wasnt for WOW stressing you out and forcing you to come forth you'd still be pondering your actions.

And know this...whatever scrap of relationship you might think maybe left, has actually withered away a long time ago and beyond any possible repair.
This heart now only feels deep animosity and sorry that WOW is your new best friend.

Good luck for the future.

BTW, you'd best want to delete these posts to keep your BLOG on-topic.

expended said...

Someone shut this depressing thread down already.

Phyllixia said...

Apologies to @expended and anyone else who may have come looking for hunter info and found this sordid affair instead. It's a rather appropriate blog post title, I have to admit!

@Anonymous: I have no idea why you've decided to bring this conversation here and refuse to contact me privately or IN-GAME instead, since you're clearly still playing no matter how anti-WoW you proclaim to be.

However, since you have: I have tried to be civil up until these last few comments on this blog, but if you insist on petty sniping both here and in other social media, I will not stand for it. Take your own advice and get over it - I don't want to see or hear about you griping at me to others again.

Anonymous said...

The reason I chose to post here is simple. I only give out contacts to those in my circle.

This is about as far removed from that as can get since anybody can post here.

I'm not sure how you found my WOW char, but that was supposed to be reserved also.

And yes I am still playing WOW and enjoying it a whole lot more at my own pace.

Agreed to the title being appropriate.

You should clean up this thread so others can read it.

Phyllixia said...

I'm letting you know out of courtesy, but you actually told me your character's name; not to mention plainly advertised it elsewhere.

I don't want your contacts; I only thought you may want to carry out your arguments in private. Protecting your best interests are no longer a concern of mine, however; this thread serves nicely as a reminder that I shouldn't.